Diary Log: My First Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Competition

In January 2023, I started training in Jiu Jitsu at Rituals Gym in Bali. I was offered a free session with a friend and jumped at the chance to see what it was about and have some fun. It can be kind of awkward and uncomfortable getting into some positions at first, but I liked it. I was learning so many new skills and so much knowledge. It was a lot to take in. My coach, Justin, mentioned an upcoming competition in Manila, and I sat with it for a couple of weeks while I considered my work and how much I wanted to invest in the sport.

Then, six weeks into my Jiu Jitsu journey, I decided to sign up for my first competition. I have always been competitive and been in competitive environments from a young age, but it had been a while since I had competed in anything. 

In the weeks leading up to the competition, the intensity of my training grew. The competition took place over a weekend, and I was set to fight only on the Sunday. Just before my flight on the Friday, I was told I would be fighting on the Saturday too. I was prepared for this last-minute change and it would mean not having much time to rest between the fights. But I connected back to myself, did some journaling on the flight and reprogrammed my headspace. I came off the flight viewing it as an opportunity to gain more experience. I still felt a little stressed though, and this wasn’t helped by being given the wrong address for dinner. I was hungry, tired, and dehydrated. I realised I didn’t have any cash. I still needed to make weight so I knew I had to avoid carbs. It was not the smooth entry I had planned. 

But it happens - it’s life. We pivot. I teach this to my clients a lot. I reminded myself to pull back, just breathe. 

Back at the hotel after dinner, I laid my clothes out for the next day, put some meditation music on, had a shower, set my alarm, and went to bed. 

Day 1

We walk into the shopping mall where the event is being held and people are starting to gather. Some nerves start to set in. We get our bearings, find out what time we’re on, and I see that out of the team I am going first. This felt scary at first but then I realised I would rather go first.

My heart is racing now just recounting the experience. I hit the scales, hoping to make weight. I do. 61.5kg for no-gi and 64kg for gi. In short no-gi you’re in leggings/shorts and rash guard that will weigh less. As for the gi you’re wearing what I like to describe as a very thick set of pajamas to roll and grapple on the floor in. With this in mind your weight will increase as you have more clothing on. I get warmed up by skipping. I play my tunes and get into my zone. In my mind I go over grips, moves, names, and points I could score. My adrenaline was pumping, but I felt calm and happy. I reminded myself this is the first fight I had ever done, trying to not put too much pressure on myself and enjoy it. 

Suddenly there was no time to think anymore, my name had been called. I weighed in again. My body had clearly been using energy preparing because I weighed in at 62.8kg. 

My first fight went so well. I was able to zone in on Justin’s voice and really take the actions I needed to. I was calm and precise and feeling really in control. I submitted her with a keylock submission. I got gold and was on a high but I didn’t let it go to my head, I had a no-gi fight next. 

I feel more vulnerable without the uniform. My opponent was smaller than me but she had a fighter’s presence. (I later learned she is also a Muay Thai fighter). We grappled, and a minute in I went for a double leg shoot. I got into trouble and heard my trainer’s voice saying “Get your arm to her neck, push her head away”. I was stuck in a guillotine choke. It’s not nice. I stayed calm, tuned into my coaching, and managed to unlock her grip. The intensity built as we battled, and eventually I won because of my take down. 

Day 2 - The adrenaline is still in action

I slept well but was still low on energy. These are the notes I wrote to myself in my phone after a rollercoaster of a day:

“Sunday rinse & repeat learning from Saturday’s fights 

Shit happens when you’re tired 

Aim to bring out the best in you 

Let go of what’s out of your control

Think about what is in it.

Breathe woman! Namaste shizzle. 

Let’s fucking go

All energy is focused and controlled 

Breathe 

Same toilet every time 

Hair done 

Music on

Just trust yourself and move with it 

Security in the area where my bag was taken”

I went into it with an open mind. This was a new day with new opportunities. My opponent was good, more experienced than me, and nailed me in a triangle choke:

“F*ck I lost 

Win some you lose some

Boy that was hard

She had way more experience than me and got me from the beginning especially with her grips. I was chasing my tail with this one. I couldn’t tune into Justin’s voice as much and was in panic. It was noisy and cloudy in my head. 

I could feel it slipping away and she got me into a couple of tough positions that really set the tone for her triangle. She went for the triangle a few times. I got out of it. 

That was so freaking emotional.

I escaped her triangle hold twice but energy was running low and I couldn’t get out of her legs quick enough my head got so stuck with my nose and mouth stuck to her gi I was running out of air. I was fighting and then I just tapped. Dropped my ego. I came in with a high of yesterday's comp and low of the phone. I managed my energy. She just had way more experience with great grips.

Get out of your head to be in it

Drop the attitude and ego Lizzie 

It’s going to get you nowhere.”

I left the mat area full of emotion. I was glad it was over but my ego was bruised. I focused on the loss for a minute. But then I quickly saw sense:

“I’m not in it for no gi

My back is pulled on the other side today

It’s not over until it’s over.

I didn’t win but I learnt

So much

I’m not the best, but why do I think I will be the first time (sounds familiar)

I lost track of myself and that’s ok

There’s more opportunity to come back 

Don’t let it get you down

Justin winds me up. I react. He speaks truth and gets me into space.

In competition mode he’s tough, and direct but speaks my language. 

I don’t like it at points but I respect it and respond to it. 

I just need my time to cool off in my way and come back 

I’ll see how my shoulder is but I have made a decision 

Aftera timeout of hot minute emotions I got bronze

Man that happens so quick 

I calmed my shit down.”

Then bringing in weight for a competition is something I have never done or had to do before…

“Weight is interesting.

I stress dropped weight. With the gi this morning. Your physiology reacts differently.

Reducing the stress in the environment 

Yesterday start of day gi 63.6kg compete 62.8kg

Today weigh in 62.6kg / compete 62kg”

I then had to decide on whether to do my fourth fight. I got my head back on my shoulders, thought of the bigger picture, and didn’t let my ego get in the way. It’s a process - it’s being in tune with your own decisions and not letting outsiders influence you. Coach pushed me to make sure it was the right decision. I talked it out with my teammates. They didn’t tell me what to do, just let me express my thoughts and feelings. Turning my neck pulls all the way down my back. 

I pulled out of no gi. My back and shoulder was pulled and it wasn’t worth doing anymore damage. I felt happy with my decision - my back and body is worth more in the next few weeks.

“Now let it go. You forfeited- it was the right decision.

I get it, Justin said. He does. 

It was the right decision as a day later my back/shoulder/neck is in pain and super tight and a week on I am still recovering.”

It quickly became rest week and time to get off the Jiu Jitsu rollercoaster. 

I hope you enjoyed this account of the many emotions I had during the competition. I loved reliving an intense, memorable, and amazing experience. 

If you loved this check out my 5 takeaways from my Jiu Jitsu competition post here.